Split Personalities: Gundam Wing version
by Posypanco
Summary: What would happen if the Gundam guys and gals got "mixed up" with who they were? Extreme craziness!! Which is what this fic is. Can't really explain, just read. NOW!!! ^_~ read and review
1. Default Chapter

**Split Personalities:   
****Gundam Wing Version  
  
Chapter 1**  
  


Disclaimer: No matter how much I cry and beg I shall never in this life own Gundam Wing, Dragonball Z, Hamtaro, or X-men Evolution. *sob*   
  
A/N: Okay peeps, here's the scoop: The dudes and dudettes who talked for the Gundam crew talked for several other shows that we all know and love, for example:  
Heeros VA also talked for Angel in X-men Evolution  
Duo's VA also talked for Wolverine in X-men Evolution, Piccolo in DBZ, and Hermey the Elf, Yukon Cornelius, and Coach Comet in Rudolf the Red- nosed Reindeer  
Trowa's VA ///_^ *ahem* also talked for Scott Summers in X-men Evolution  
Quatre's VA also talked for Kurt in X-men Evolution and Maxwell in Hamtaro  
Wufei's VA (that rhymes! ^_^) also talked for Boss in Hamtaro and Yamcha in DBZ.  
Relena's VA also talked for Chichi in DBZ.  
Treize's VA also talked for Professor X in X-men Evolution.  
and last but not least:  
Noin's VA also talked for Hamtaro in Hamtaro.  
So, the question is: What if one day all their lines got mixed up? Well, I'll tell you right now: extreme insanity. BWAHAHA!!  
  
**Just a little note: *ahem* I HATE yaoi with a passion!!! So if you're here looking for it, you've come to the wrong place, my friend.**  
  
So before I put you all to sleep with my boringness, Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce my sad attempt at humor!! *fanfare*:  
  
  
  
Once upon a time in the Gundam guys' household, it was a normal boring day. Everyone was doing what they do best. Heero was on his beloved laptop hacking into top secret government sites, places we mortals could only dream of accessing. Duo was watching cartoons and stuffing his face with a whole assortment of junk food. (which can't be good for his stomach, not to mention his teeth) Trowa was sitting in a chair being his usual quiet self, thinking things I personally don't want to know. Quatre was sipping a lovely cup of tea and reading a book about peace and how to get along. And of course, Wufei was ranting about justice and whatnot.  
  
Maxwell, you left your toothbrush in my room again! This is an injustice to my honorable self and Nataku!!   
  
This of course was Wufei ranting.  
  
Calm down, Wu-man, sorry if my personal item has destroyed the sanctity of your room, replied Duo with boredom, for he had heard this same rant several times before. Like when he left his deodorant in there last Monday or when he borrowed some of Wu-man's socks on Friday or when . . . well, you get the picture.  
  
Maxwell must I remind you the injustice of going into my room without permission, Wufei replied, ready to give Duo his justice speech #126 Part IV Section B.  
  
But, Duo wanted to get back to the Looney Toons marathon on TV. So, he just grabbed the offending item with a mumbled, Yeah, sure, whatever you say.  
  
Wufei was just about to walk off to shine and polish Nataku yet again when something Duo said brought him back.  
  
Hey, you used it!  
  
What?! Injustice! I would never stoop to using someone else's toothbrush!  
  
You did too use it; it's wet.  
  
Maxwell, it is an injustice that you would th-- Wufei suddenly stopped and his eyes glazed over for a second before leaning toward the toothbrush in Duo's hand and sniffing it.  
  
Hiff Hiff, Hiff Hiff.  
  
Duo was dumbstruck at Wu-man's odd behavior.  
  
Nope there's not a drop of water on this toothbrush, that being said, he scuttled off, Badda Badda Badda Badda Badda.  
  
Duo blinked in surprise. *blink blink*  
  
Uh, guys Wufei is acting a little. . .strange.  
  
The other three Gundam guys looked over at Wufei to see what was wrong. He was now rubbing his hands in his hair contentedly.  
  
Koosh Koosh, Koosh Koosh. He then noticed the four pairs of eyes staring at him perplexed, What's the matter with you ham-hams?  
  
Uh, guys, what's a ham-ham? asked Quatre.  
  
The Wu-man's finally flipped his lid. I knew that all that justice garbage would eventually take it's toll on him, replied Duo.  
  
Just then Wufei got a bright idea. I know what you ham-hams need: to get out of this stuffy place. We can go find the other ham-hams and hang out at the ham-ham clubhouse. He gets all starry eyed at the thought, And I can see Bijou!  
  
Alright, what's a Bijou?!  
  
Whoever uttered that comment (namely Quatre), was knocked senseless by Wufei's shovel which he had mysteriously acquired out of nowhere.  
  
Bijou is only the most beautiful ham-ham that ever lived!  
  
You guys, Wufei is acting really odd, said Quatre, stating the obvious.  
  
Well, duh! was Duo's reply.  
  
answered Heero.  
  
. . . . said Trowa.  
  
Then they noticed that their insane companion was missing.  
  
By Allah, he's gone! said Quatre jumping in surprise, We have to find him!  
  
Mission Accepted. (we all know who that was XP)  
  
They all heard some rustling coming from the kitchen. They rushed to the kitchen and found Wufei rummaging in the cupboards.   
  
Um, Wufei, what are you doing? Duo ventured to ask.  
  
Wufei popped his head out from behind the cabinet door he was rummaging in. Strangely, his cheeks were the size of grapefruits, stuffed with what appeared to be sunflower seeds. And he was still stuffing the seeds in his mouth at an alarming speed.  
  
We have to stop him before he chokes himself! shouted a very concerned Quatre.  
  
How bout not. That way we won't have to hear any more of his rants about why the weak shouldn't fight.  
  
Duo! How can you even think like that?! Now, guys, help me stop him.  
  
After much struggle, the four sane Gundam guys managed to grab Wufei and extract the seeds from his mouth.  
  
Trying to steal my seeds, are you?! Go and get your own! Wufei cried in protest.  
  
Just then the doorbell rang. (I wonder who it is *snicker*)  
  
Wufei got up to answer the door.  
  
Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki Tiki.   
  
It was Noin.  
  
Hey, are there any ham-hams in here? she asked.  
  
Come on in, you can help me cheer up all these grouchy sunflower-stealing ham-hams. Wufei replied.  
  
I know, Boss! We can sing for them! she said with a very excited look on her face.  
  
The two crazy then proceeded to do their little ham-ham song and dance number for the now extremely confused Gundam pilots.  
  
Tiki Tiki Tiki, when you're in a jam, Badda Badda Badda, remember I'm your ham! they sang with enthusiasm. To go along with the song (I'm a poet and I don't know it! ^_^), they were waving their arms and shaking their fannies in what appeared to be some sort of dance.  
  
The G-guys were looking on this performance with horror and the feeling that they would at any moment loose their lunch.   
  
Um, shouldn't we do something, guys? Duo asked.  
  
While Wufei and Noin were dancing like a pair of lunatics, the four pilots were forming a plan. They snuck to the kitchen and got the heavy-duty frying pan.  
  
But that's the pan I make pancakes in! Quatre protested, snatching the pan away.  
  
For the greater good, sacrifices must be made, Quatre, said Duo, a little annoyed that Quatre had tried to get in the way of their plan to knock Wufei and Noin senseless to stop that crazy singing.   
  
. . . . Trowa said.  
  
said Heero.  
  
Quatre dried his tears and they all trooped out of the kitchen to the living room to carry out their plan.  
  
Wufei and Noin were still carrying on with their incessant song and dance routine. The G-guys snuck up on the pair, ready to deal out the blows. Trowa lifted the pan high over his head. He knocked Noin out and she crumpled to the floor.  
  
Trowa again raised the pan over his head, prepared to whack Wufei. Just then, Wufei stopped what he was doing and stood motionless for a second.  
  
What am I doing? He turned around, Why do you have the frying pa--   
  
BONK! Trowa bashed him on his head and he too fell to the floor.  
  
When Wufei regained consciousness, the four G-guys were standing over him.  
  
Hey, Wu-man, are you okay? Duo asked.  
  
Outraged, he exclaimed, Of course I'm not alright, you just hit me over the head with the frying pan! You shall all meet your fate for the injustice you have caused me!!  
  
But, Wufei you were dancing around and kept calling us ham-hams, explained Quatre, We knocked you over the head to help you regain your senses.  
  
Injustice! I do not dance!!  
  
After Noin woke up, she went home with no remembrance of how she had made a fool of herself that day. The five pilots all went back to doing what they were doing before.   
  
Quatre was walking toward the couch to get his book when he stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes glazed over for a second then got a strange urge to dance and sing.  
  
Now how does Hamtaro's song go? I've seen him do it a million times. Oh yeah! He then started the ham-ham song and dance number, Tiki Tiki Tiki, when you're in a jam, Badda Badda Badda, remember I'm your ham.  
  
Uh, guys. . .  
  
  
  
  
That's it for chapter one, if you want more, read and review. Next time I'll either make the guys think they're X-men or DBZ dudes. ^_~ Stay tuned and enjoy!  
  
  
  
  
  
Authors Note: *bowing* Thank you! Thank you! *crickets* Fine, be that way. Anyways, I hope you all didn't drown in my corniness. If you're an X-men Evolution fan, be sure to read this story's counterpart: Split Personalities: X-men Evolution version by happymaximus. Two stupid stories for the price of one!!  
  
Another note: Can anyone tell me what LMAO means?! I tried to figure it out but nothing I came up with sounded right:  
**L**obsters, **M**onkeys, **A**nd **O**ctopus?  
**L**emmings **M**arch **A**ll **O**ver?  
So, tell me if you know.  
Also T-T and XP are faces. But you have to stand on your head and squint real hard to see it. ^_~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
If you really did stand on your head, I laugh at you: hahaha *ahem*   
Now, submit a review


	2. I'm back with a vengence! BWAHA!

Well hello again, peeps. So very glad that at least some of you liked my fic. ^_^ *author deftly dodges an airborne tomato* Ha, you missed!!   
Anyways, here's my second installment of Split Personalities: Gundam Wing version. And be absolutely sure to read and review the X-men Evolution version by happymaximus. If you are experiencing stomach discomfort halfway through the fic, please don't be alarmed; the combination of the badness and corniness of this fic has the amazing effect of triggering the upchuck reflex of any normal human being.  
  
And hey, I just found out that Mariemaia's (sp?) VA also talks for Kitty in X-men: Evolution. ^_^ BWAHA!!  
  
  
Disclaimer: I believe I already said this but here goes: I do NOT own Gundam Wing!!!!!!! What's wrong with you people?!  
  


Split Personalities: Gundam Wing version  
Chapter 2  
by the one and only Posypanco  
  


It was a normal day in the Gundam household. Well, as normal as it gets around there. The time was 6:30 p.m. and someone was terribly hungry.  
  
I'm hungry!  
  
Shut up, Maxwell! Do you ever think of anything besides your weak stomach?!  
  
At least I don't think of justice and Nataku 24/7!!!  
  
You shall pay for this insolence, Maxwell!  
  
Trying his best to prevent the oncoming feud, Quatre intervened, Duo, the steaks are almost done, please, just wait for a few more minutes.  
  
Well, as long as Wu-man here will get out of my hair!   
  
I'll cut **off** your hair the next time you call me Wu-man, Maxwell!!  
  
Wu-man! Wu-man! Wu-man!  
  
Wufei, who couldn't take the injustice anymore, lunged at Duo, sword in hand. He was just about to cut off Duo's braid, when Trowa came out of the kitchen.  
  
The steaks are ready, he announced to everyone.  
  
Heero detached himself from his laptop, Wufei let go of Duo's braid, Duo got up off the floor, and Quatre put down War and Peace. They all proceeded to the table (which was in the kitchen) to partake of the meal Trowa had worked so hard to prepare. Well, Duo actually ran, but that's beside the point.  
  
Halfway through the meal, unbeknownst to the rest of the Gundam guys (but knownst to us ^_~), Trowa stopped eating. His eyes glazed over for a second; he then continued munching on the delicious steak. Wufei spoke up.  
  
Injustice! Trowa, you know I like my steaks medium rare, this steak is well done!  
  
Trowa jumped up, knocking over his chair. He reached for a very rare, not-yet-cooked steak that just happened to be sitting haphazardly on the kitchen counter.   
  
You want it raw, tough guy?! Then, take it . . . RAW!!!  
  
The slab of meat left Trowa's hand, flying through the air. And  
  
~SPLAT!!!~  
  
landed smack dab in the middle of Wu-man's honorable forehead.  
  
Quatre looked shocked that Trowa could do such a thing, Duo cracked up laughing, Heero grunted (), and, needless to say, Wufei exploded.  
  
INJUSTICE!!!!! This is a disgrace to myself and Nataku!!  
  
While Duo and Heero were trying to hold back an insanely angry Wufei, Quatre was proclaiming that they shouldn't be fighting, it wasn't right. Suddenly Quatre stopped speaking. His eyes glazed over for a second, then returned to normal.  
  
Dudes, cut it out!! he shouted loudly.  
  
All movement stopped. Four pairs of eyes were on the peaceful pilot.   
  
Uh, guys, was just me or did Quatre just call us dudes? And since when did he have a German accent?! asked a very confused Duo. First Trowa had flipped and thrown a steak at Wu-man, now Quatre was using words that were very un-Quatre like. Something was definitely wrong here.  
  
But the insanity continued, Hey, instead let's have a party! We can invite all zee chicks. Chicks dig zee fozzy dude! Quatre then jumped up on the table where the five of them were just having a nice home cooked meal. He began dancing. Time to shake that tail, Woo hoo! party, party, party!!  
  
Heero, Wufei, and Duo were even more confused, and just stood there with their mouths hanging open. Trowa, on the other hand, was looking ticked off. He reached up and pulled Quatre off the table.   
  
Quatre was now also very ticked off after having his fun interrupted.   
  
Hey, what's up with you, man?! Quatre demanded.  
  
Grow up! Trowa replied.  
  
Lighten up, dude!  
  
You're always messing around!  
  
And you're seriously cramping my style!!  
  
(Does Quatre _have _style?! Duo asked himself.)  
  
  
  
No, you listen, there's a sound I want you to hear, and it's. . . Quatre scrunched his eyes shut, clenched his fists, and. . . nothing.  
  
Vas?! My powers, they're not working, Quatre exclaimed.  
  
What powers? asked Wufei.  
  
Hn, he looks constipated to me, Heero replied (the potty mouth!).  
  
If you get any of that on my clean floor, you will experience the true wrath of Nataku! Wufei cried, reaching for his mighty sword of justice.   
  
During this exchange, Duo was strangely silent. Surely he would have said something stupid by now. If anyone had taken a moment to look at him, they would have noticed his eyes glaze over for just a second then go back to their normal bluish/purple hue.  
  
Alright, alright, break it up. Slim, Elf, you get to clean the X-jet top to bottom.   
  
Trowa and Quatre groaned, Come on Wolverine, we were just playin' around, we're cool, right Kurt?  
  
replied Quatre, giving a thumbs up.  
  
Duo grunted, something that is reserved solely for Heero, You're not getting off that easily. You're comin' with me, squirts.  
  
Duo pushed the crestfallen down the hall in search of the nonexistent X-jet with the intention to make the two G-boys put in who knows how many hours into cleaning with a toothbrush.  
  
Wufei and Heero were left dumbstruck.  
  
Heero finally spoke up pulling out a gun from. . . uh. . . somewhere, They will endanger the mission, they must be disposed of.  
  
Before Wufei had a chance to reply, Duo walked back into the room, sniffing for something. Something neither Heero or Wufei saw. Duo walked around the room sniffing and growling like some kind of animal.  
  
*Growl* He's close, I can smell him, he said to no one in particular.  
  
Suddenly he howled and ran out the door. Duo went down to the street and kicked a poor unsuspecting citizen off his motorcycle.  
  
Sorry, bub, gotta borrow this for a while, Duo told the biker-dude gruffly. With that he drove off in close pursuit of absolutely nothing.  
  
Heero and Wufei, who were still inside, were even more confused. Since when did Trowa and Quatre fight with each other? And where the heck did Duo go?! But sadly, the day was not over yet. (BWAHA!)  
  
Wufei spoke up, This is an injustice! We have to change the three delinquents back to normal!  
  
Hn, Mission Accepted.  
  
Just then there was a knock at the door.   
  
*knock knock*  
  
The Perfect Soldier cautiously went to the door, hoping it wasn't any more crazy people coming to visit. He slowly opened the door and was greatly relieved when he saw it was just Mariemaia and Lady Une. They were the least likely to go crazy. Boy, was he ever wrong. (heehee)  
  
Like, hi! Have you like seen Scott? He was like supposed to give me a ride to school, but he totally forgot. Oh the horror! This was Mariemaia Khushrenada talking like, yes, a valley girl!  
  
Then just to make it worse, Quatre walked back into the room, looking very tired.  
  
Gutentag, Katchen!  
  
Like, hi Kurt! Have you seen Scott? Oh, yeah I like almost forgot, Kurt, can you like tell me what you think of these muffins? I like made them in Home Ec class.  
  
Mariemaia pulled out a Ziploc bag filled with her homemade muffins. She took out one and handed it to Quatre, who was looking very green all of a sudden.  
  
Uhh, sorry Kittee, I, uh, just ate lunch, he said backing away from the offending muffins,   
  
Like, wait Kurt! You have to try my muffins! she exclaimed running after him.  
  
What the heck is wrong with the G-boyz? Will they ever return to normal? Tune in next time for Split Personalities!!!!  
  
  
  
  
Yay!! End of chapter two!! I really didn't want to cut it off before resolving everything, but oh well. I'll try to get the next chappie up as soon as I get rid of this retarted writer's block. ^_~ Suggestions are welcome.  
  
  
~Posypanco


End file.
